attending bible college has opened my eyes to the wondrous fact that i am not alone in carrying a man-bag/satchel/messenger bag or the loosely defined “laptop bag.” (those wanting to claim the namesake “laptop bag” are just simply in denial)

so as we all know, every college student always comes adequately prepared for class… and even on time. right?

but seriously folks, there are usually a few things the average college student is rarely with out:

1. iPhone/Smartphone of some kind

let’s be honest, most college kids aren’t sporting the blackberry, because, that’s such an “old person phone.” they see this as a premature sign to grow up. sorry blackberry, this just isn’t your market. (i should note that the few college students who do have one, are in a constant state of envy of those with far superior phones) but most do have a smartphone of some kind, and as college folk like to keep up with the growing world of technology, many probably have an iPhone, Droid or fancy new Palm glued to their, well, palm. i’m going to go out on a limb and suggest most college kids gots themselves an iPhone (or desperately want one), and of course this is not paid out of their own pockets, as they’re all broke, but instead from their benevolent parents. the reason this is kept in their satchel, rather than the more traditional “pocket,” is so quick text messages can be exchanged discreetly throughout class… typically to someone else in the same class. if you’re laughing right now, it’s because the previous claim is either so outrageous and beyond your studious comprehension… or absolutely true. maybe you’re doing it right now…

2. laptop, let’s face it, it’s a mac

and if it’s not,

it should be.

nuff said.

sorry pc people,

you lose.

3. notebook

binders are overrated, and outdated. we all had binders in high school, with different dividers separating our class periods. but that’s just not the college way of life. college students like their notebooks, and if they’re feeling extra artsy and trendy, that notebook is probably a moleskine(which is code for three times the price of a normal notebook, but a must have for any writer, musician, artist, and someone aspiring to any of the aforementioned sects)

4. bible

well, this is pretty exclusive to those in bible college. but i should note that if you’re in bible college, you darn well not bring your trusty NIV, and if you’re caught with “the message”, the jokes will continue through the semester, and later you may be referred to as “joel osteen jr” for the remainder of your college life. good bible college kids will have their trendy ESV or the NASB, both of which have the moral superiority of accuracy at your fingertips, ready to dish out at the poor saps who bring their NLT.

5. snacks

college students are unable to go without food for the duration of class of any length. so they bring snacks to class. thus making them the most popular people in class. it should be noted, girls looking for a little guy attention should always bring donuts to the morning classes.

this. never. fails.

6. NOT a pen, or pencil, or writing utencil of any kind

as every college student thinks they can do everything on their mac, they have no need for archaic writing objects like pens. so when the time comes for primitive writing methods, there is a little buzz that erupts, comprised of every person in the room asking each other for a pen. if they do happen to have a pen or pencil, you bet your lucky stripes it’s been chewed to a near unrecognizable state. kids these days.

7. facebook

while facebook is not a “thing”, as such, that you can keep in your man-purse, it is something that every college student carries with them at all times. whether on their mac, during class, while their “typing” lecture notes or on their cellular gadgets. updating status’, commenting on pictures, commenting on other students’ status’ updates, or just killing time being stalkeresque has never been more prevalent, or easy, than in a college classroom. after all, facebook was started in a college dormitory, and those status updates just cant wait.

8. other miscellaneous items

students live out of their car, or if they’re too broke to own a car, they live out of their bag. so we cannot forget the miscellaneous items that make their way into said bag: chapstick, extra contact lenses, random trash, receipts reminding you of how much money you no longer have, a journal if you’re extra spiritual (moleskine if you’re  extra hipster), a random book undoubtedly borrowed from a friend (that friend has to know they will never see it again).

so there you have it. eight things your average (bible) college student will always have in their satchel/man-bag/messenger bag or “laptop case.”