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Archive - May, 2011
130 | wallowing in the rapture aftermath
A week has gone by, and we’re all still here.
So, no rapture?
This has obviously brought up some questions from those who view Christianity from the outside, and they have seen a lot of different reactions from Christians. So how do you deal with it? How do you respond to those asking legitimate questions about what’s to come? How do you respond to people who have made this entire debacle a joke?
129 | refusing to use the internet for a bible
Bible college students take peculiar stands on obscure issues. They don’t like the boring ones. Predestination: so over it. Hell: too popular right now. Rock music: so outdated.
So if all of these hot button issues are too antiquated for your astute bible college student, when then? What they will do here is find an issue, so saturated, so ingrained in the everyday motions of bible college, and the Christian community at large, and rip it to shreds.
It will be something simple. Something we all take for granted. Something we never think about until we have our bible college friend in our face. Obviously, I cannot predict what any and every issue might be, but I can shed light on the first target for any budding bible college student looking to try out their new found powers: online bibles.
There are some amazing online tools and bible out there today. Anywhere from basic bibles and translations, to full on greek and hebrew study guides and cross references. A theology nerds dream.
Bible college students are to real life paper bibles as these guys are to the kings james version translation. Which always makes for interesting interactions in the classroom. You see, just about every student has a laptop out, taking notes, and looking up stuff on their laptop, including, of course, the bible.
But you’ll notice, there is always one, maybe two, people: laptopless. They have come, seemingly, unprepared. Untrue. They came too prepared. They don’t need the lecture notes because they spent so many hours in the textbook the week before that they could teach the class! They don’t need the internet because they brought their “real” bible, not some pathetic 1’s and 0’s excuse for the scriptures.
So if these folks do not have a laptop on them, what are they using in class? Here are the first five things you’ll see on the desk of any one of these folks:
128 | reading the apocrypha: what the gehenna?
Eventually, the career of a bible college, they are forced to read something they have never read before. For some, this may take months and months of plowing away, for others, this may happen the first day. Either way, a likely addition to the unread literature is going to be the apocrypha.
This is not in the standard library for the average bible college student. But after taking some biblical history or backgrounds class, this is likely to be the first book assigned. For those unfamiliar with the apocrypha, you can read about it on a very reliable online source: wikipedia. or even if you want to get a little crazy, you can check out theopedia here.
In short, the apocrypha is simply texts not included in the original cannon of the bible for various reasons, and over the past 2000 years or so, many have caused much controversy.
Whatever they may think before hand, you can count on them going hog wild with their new copy of the apocrypha, highlighting and underlining and “discovering” so much!”
Typically you will have a four different types of reactions to being forced to read the apocrypha:
episode 09 | the jake’s list bumper episode
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127 | being secretly afraid the world ends tonight
I’m writing this at 12:45pm on my lunch break, and nothing is different. I am still here. Christians are still here. And most importantly, bible college students are still here. There has been no rapture. No judgment day. No end of the world (unless you count the recent announcement by 6MOB friends, David Crowder* Band).
For those of you bible college students still stocking up canned good for the rapture (Yes. This is true. No. It does not make any sense.), you still have a few hours to yet be proven right.
For those unfamiliar to what I’m referring, gaze your own eyes upon this feast of hilarity right now and finish this blog.
I think Shakespeare taught us the hubris always wins, right?
There is a hint of fear in some of you. Why? If the world ends tonight, and you are a follower of Christ, why are you tripping out? Don’t be scrred. But to those anxiously awaiting some momentous occasion tonight, to you I say this:
Sorry dear friends preparing to depart the world tonight, you are one egg short of an omelet. The bible says we have no idea when Jesus is coming back, so quit guessing, and try not to embarrass the rest of us trying to authentically live out being a disciple of Christ with your ridiculous nonsense.
126 | your profesor: writing books
A great bit of news surfaced from the bowels of my school today, a professor of ours, Preston Sprinkle, and the founder of our school, Francis Chan, have teamed up to write a book about hell.
While this is, in fact, entirely factual, it is also quite indicative of bible college culture. Aside form the massive theological thesis that most professors end up writing to obtain the degree they wield to impart their knowledge, many find it’s not enough. They have more to say.
For professors that do not have a interesting bone in their body, this could be a rather dull undertaking. But, if you have professors who are just plain fascinating, this will be good. I have some incredibly interesting professors, and one teamed up with our school’s founder to write a book. This is the announcement that was published today on our faculty blog just today:
125 | coming late to class
We’ve all had those moments, where we’ve shown up late for something. There’s usually some really good excuse.
For the bible college student, they have a wealth of material to draw from. Stuff like their prayer group running late, what with all the prayer happening, and a close encounter with another panera study group, or getting off work late because they were gospeling too much are all pretty standard operating procedures for our dear bible college students.
Never been late to class at bible college? This is what you can expect:
What happens when you show up late to class:
124 | the home of a bible college student
Many schools have most students living on campus. My school is a tad different: we, intentionally, do not have dorms, large students centers, or stuff like that. Instead, we encourage students to be intrenched in a community.
A byproduct of that philosophy is students tend to live in many different types of atmospheres. When the default is not a dorm room, the options get creative. One would expect nothing less from a bible college student.
Here are some places you might find a bible college student living:
123 | going to a benny hinn event for fun
