A time will come dear cohorts, when just being friends with a bible college student may bite you in the ass. You may not have done anything wrong. You probably just sat there. Eating a pizza. Pondering something meaningful. Then BOOM! It hits you like a ton of gopher wood.
What hits you? You friendlessness from that of a bible college student.
One day, the bible college student will awake and decides they only want “authentic” friends. The trouble with this is, there is no really accurate definition of “authentic” in the mind of our bible college student. It’s very vague and subjective. So what, then? Who gets the axe and who stays? Don’t worry, we got a list for ya!
Who stays:
1. A friend that stays usually comes from some kind of extreme background.
Drugs, alcohol, the mission field, radical homeschooling are all good backgrounds for an “authentic” friend.
2. A friend that stays usually has gotten kicked out of a church at some point in their life.
A rough church history is what the bible college student is looking for, someone to challenge them in their everyday Christianhood.
3. A friends that stays usually still has some habits to kick.
Smoking, a few too many beers, ya know, real life problem the bible college student is eager to dig their pretty little heads into.
Who goes:
1. A friends that usually gets the boot is also a bible college student.
What’s worse than one bible college student? Two. So they try to loose their kind in hopes of making friends with the outsiders.
2. A friends that usually gets the boot enjoys Chris Tomlin and the Newsboys.
Enough said.
3. A friends that usually gets the boot complains the music is too loud at their night service.
If it’s too loud, get out of the kitchen! (I got that right, yes?)
Of course this will all be done under the umbrella of lifestyle evangelism. It’s so hard to reach the non-belivers when you have these pesky bible college students hanging around trying to get an accurate definition of propitiation, right?
What are some other indicators you’re on your way in or on your way out?
Photo credit: The Phraseology Project
Hey! I like Christ Tomlin and Newsboys (especially with Michael Tait at the helm), and I dislike it when worship music is so loud I can’t hear myself or others sing. I really enjoying listening to people sing, not just the worship leader. No, they’re not as pretty sounding, but there’s something to hearing everyone sing together that makes me feel more in community with them.
Hey Heather! While I too enjoy the musings of Tomlin and his merry Newsboys, having seen both in concert multiples times over the years, this is simply the extreme. If we remember, the bible college written about at 6MOB is the crazy, extremist in everything he/she does. Sometime they are very relatable, and sometimes they are a warning of what not to become. This could be an example of the later. And by the way, I too love hearing the voices of my community singing along all together, something about it feels so biblical. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
What if I fulfill all of the statements except the loudness of the music? Am I still your friend or not? Are you trying to tell me something in a public, non-confrontational, indirect, open-to-interpretation way?
Kat, you just can’t take a hint, can you?