Girlies, you know how it goes. You wake up in the morning, and spend an hour in your closet trying to figure out what to wear. After many outfits, mix-n-matches, and trips to the mirror, you finally pick out the perfect outfit for the day. Having spent less time than usual getting ready, you arrive early to school to hang out in the library and socialize.
Now, at a normal college, with normal people, you’d hear compliments like these: “Wow, that’s a great color on you!” “I love the cut of that top!” “Girl, the back of yo’ head is ridikkolous.” But you’re at Bible College. Instead, you get the following:
“That maxi dress hides your figure perfectly.”
Because it’s better to leave everything to the imagination, right?
“I really like the fact that your shirt collar is so high that you look like you’re choking.”
Binding your breasts helps, too.
“Thanks for keeping our brothers in Christ from stumbling.”
Oh, is that what I was going for? I just like oversized sweaters.
“Everything else looks great, but don’t you think those peep-toes have just a little too much toe-cleavage going on?”
Everyone knows toe-cleavage is one step away from real cleavage, so we better keep it all hidden away. Wear gloves all the time, while you’re at it.
“I dig the way your high-waisted jeans disguise the fact that you have a butt.”
Mmhmm. Might as well bind your butt, too.
See, ladies, if you’re not being complimented on your modesty, you must be a hussy. My roommate, also a girl, just agreed, so it must be true. (Wherever two or more are in agreement is declared truth, right? Isn’t that how it works?) So next time you’re getting dressed in the morning, think to yourself, “Will people actually be able to tell I am woman in this? If the answer is yes, you might need to chage.
